The Fact Is…

11 Aug

Re: What the hell is going on with the blog?!

I write this blog as a dude recovering from a pathetic and miserable period in my life.  I write it as a tribute to my curiosity, mostly.  I try to find purpose, focus, morals, humor, and so on.  I also wanted to let my real dorky self out a bit, which just means being too literal and melodramatic sounding at times, but really having the same meaning as blander things people say all the time.  This is confusing and absurd at points, but it’s just the way my mind works best.  I wanted a place where I could let it operate per its own idiosyncratic tendencies.

I am completely astounded that there was any kind of interest in my blog at all, and I have little idea about how much interest is out there.  It’s the sort of thing I’d be trying to ignore, anyway.  I’m not one for obsessing over what others think and expect.

But now that I am getting threats and attention which I really don’t understand, I have to say that I’m just this ridiculous guy, and I’m trying to figure out my life and what’s right.  I don’t know what the heck anyone else is getting out of it.  I guess I’m not nearly as aware as I thought, which is too bad.  More awareness would have done a lot of good.

I figure some things out on the fly, and now I’m trying to figure out what is going on!  I really don’t know a hell of a lot.  It’s not fun to suddenly get strange attention and threats out of the blue.  It’s become clear to me that I am being perceived as something that I’m not, and that’s not good.  Yes, I panicked a little when getting attention from people I perceived as very unfriendly, because I genuinely did not know why I was getting that attention.  So I perceived it as an outright hostility.  I was scared and confused.

I care about philosophy, the big questions kind of stuff, and then the basic stuff in my little life that everyone else has.  Once again, I sound weirdly serious about it, but that’s just a quirk of my thinking process.  I also trained myself to keep asking questions.  To get deeper answers, etc.  I decided to take philosophy seriously for a while.  That’s all!  I want world peace and goodness just like most people do, but sometimes I do thought experiments to help me get over my own naivete.  Such as, “well, it’s fine and well to say this, but what about game theory, Darwin, etc…?”   Is it too much over-the-top philosophy at times?  You bet.

Anyway…holy hell.  I’m a teddy bear, come on!

I’ve found myself growing a lot through writing more freely, but god knows I need to be a better son, grandson, friend, blogger, grammarian, etc.  My life was complete pathetic misery until a few years ago, and today I’m happy to even be alive.  Philosophy helped me to regain my confidence and sense of purpose.  It helped me rebuild myself.  That’s what I get out of it.


Be that as it may, I do have to at least finish reading Tragedy and Hope.  It even has some complexity science-like portions.  As I read about the stages of empires, I found myself thinking about the empire of science and how its new capital may be Silicon Valley.  Centuries ago it had HQ in northwestern Europe and was more theoretical than technological.  Anyway, lots of material there.


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